March 9, 2012

Scatlas, from scat and atlas: a map of the world’s poop.

Grointment: Ointment for one’s groin

Musickening: The feeling you get when you listen to top 40 radio music

Now you try it: Take a potentially funny word and see what words start with the end of your word. Then combine them to make brand new words!

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Be the First to Use these Fresh, New Words!

September 23, 2011

Here are some new words. Many of them come from my 11 and 13 year old children:

A new term of endearment for you to use: Dear + Darling = Dearling

Funcle: a fun uncle (not to be confused with funkle, a funky uncle)

Recyclopedia: an encyclopedia of reused words (or, as my daughter says, an encyclopedia of homophones)

Docktour: a tour of a dock, of course. I guess a Doctour would be a tour of a hospital staff

Insanitize: To make insanely clean

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New Words You May Not Have Known You Needed

August 6, 2011
  1. Hando – a hand-written typo – “It’s not supposed to say ‘parslip,’ that’s just a hando.”
  2. Magnifiscent – a really great smell – “What’s cooking in here? It’s magnifiscent!”
  3. Dinosore – a little boo-boo on a dinosaur’s paw – “The T-Rex is just cranky because she has a dinosore.”
  4. Read the rest of this entry »

Brain Anagrams

June 25, 2011

Ways to remember brain functions:

1. The Neocortex

This is a recently evolved part of the mammalian brain. It’s the large portion of the brain that houses executive functions involving abstract thought and language, and sends out motor commands. There is no hotter executive than the neocortex.

In fact, an anagram for The Neocortex is No Hotter Exec. Read the rest of this entry »

Word Musings

June 19, 2011

Today at a restaurant, my 13-year-old son told me he was disappointed that the server didn’t bring a “check” like he promised – he brought a bill. My son said that he would have preferred a check, for any amount, to a bill.

We go boating, biking and  motorcycling. For consistency, I think we should base all verbs on their noun counterparts. Some might require altering the spelling a bit. For example, riding in a car we might write that we went carring in order to differentiate it from caring. I personally spent today fooding – I fooded everything I seed.

Why are there hotel rooms & motel rooms but instead of “inn rooms,” we have to say “rooms at the inn”? Read the rest of this entry »

Ends and Odds

February 27, 2011

Here are even more oddities about the English language:

  • Why do we say, “even and odd,” but when it comes to ends and odds the odds go first?
  • Please stop saying, “but yet.” But and yet mean the same thing. Try, “and yet,” or just, “but.”
  • Here’s an old classic that recently reared its nonsensical head: “Irregardless.” It generally suffices to say, “regardless,” unless you are  trying to negate the negative and come up with an adverb form of regard.
  • “Same difference”: Huh?
  • How about didgeridon’ts for those who don’t like didgeridoos?* Read the rest of this entry »

New Words from Daisybrain!

November 30, 2010

Try these new words – they’re free!

Gratification + Satisfaction = Gratifaction

Spruced up + Spiced up = Spriced up

Muslim + Jewish = Muslish

Funny + dumb = Dunny

Sad + Happy = Sappy

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New Post

June 18, 2010

Hampster: a hamster that lives in a hamper

Altercation: the altering (spaying or neutering) of a cat

Evidence that we value violence:

We tell kids that hitting is wrong, yet singers want hits. In fact, smash hits are best; webmasters want as many hits as possible – they actually desire unique hits.  Baseball players want hits, even grand slams. You want a cute person to hit on you… after all, that could be a real kick. Maybe it’s a person with a really ripped body who has a crush on you. Read the rest of this entry »

Ten things that Bug Me About English

February 15, 2010

This year, I teach a combination of civics, social, and academic skills to seventh and eight graders and I get a queasy feeling when I teach them how to best do homework. This is because I believe that homework does more harm than good. Last year, I would get a similar feeling as a second grade teacher every time I had to pretend that the English language made some sort of sense. I taught all sorts of awkward “rules” forced out of coincidences in the language even though I knew the rules were inconsistent and due to their complexity were unlikely to be remembered.

I think that English spelling and grammar is something a person can develop an intuitive feeling for, but is foolish to try to make too much sense out of.

To pretend otherwise to children seems dishonest. What if you were a science teacher and were instructed to teach that the world is flat? Eventually, you would either convince yourself that the world was flat, or develop a stomach ailment from the stress of promoting a falsehood to developing minds. My guess is that there are a lot of English teachers who are sick to their stomachs.

Here is my list of top ten things that bug me about the English language. The alternative title is: Read the rest of this entry »

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