Wordination

Iron is both an essential nutrient and a health hazard linked to heart disease and cancer. But they should have known about this contradiction – after all, iron forms the basis of the word ironic.

Gram Ana

Many of you have not asked for another post of anagrams, so I bring you…

• New MSNBC star Chris Hayes is “A Shy Cashier.” Kind of seems like one. His name also rearranges to spell, “Hey Rich Ass,” as well as, “He is Car Shy.” Sorry, it just does.

Word is a Funny

Blog posts need pictures. Here’s one:

Picture

Funny is a word, and by the Commutative Law, word is a funny. Here are some ways that word is a funny:

Word Playtocracy

A small change in spelling can create a brand new homophone…

Bicycle becomes Bicicle: Two icicles

Window becomes Windough: The goal of lottery players

Anteater becomes Aunteater: Yikes!

Because becomes Beecause: An issue that bees care deeply about

New Words for Old

From Now On….

From now on, socks are called Foot Pockets.

From now on, shoes are called Foot Cases.

From now on, the act of pooping is called Fecalization*.

From now on, a comb is called a Hair Rake.

Improved Words!

The results of the Great (Daisy) Brain Experiment (see previous two posts) are in. No brilliant post topics came to mind. And so, I bring you a post largely written before the experiment but held off for publication in case my brain suddenly produced something more profound, which it didn’t. So, here it is….

Words are a little slow in keeping up with the culture. I’m here to help them along….

Lackadaisical should be “Slackadaisical”.

Enemy should be “Unfriend”.

Election should be “Purchection” (Purchase + Election).

Pointless Observations

And now for some observations on word order conventions:

Why are there “mom & pop” stores but not “pop & mom” stores? In fact, Google reveals that “pop & mom” appears fewer than 19,000 times on line while “mom & pop” has 1.38 million iterations. We are very specific about the order in which couples find themselves. Like “mom & pop,” “mom & dad” (over 13 million hits) far outnumbers “dad & mom” (fewer than 1 million appearances online). Likewise, we talk about “grandma & grandpa” (1 million 700 thousand occurrences) but ignore poor old “grandpa & grandma” (549,000), and “aunts & uncles” make 868,000 more appearances than “uncles & aunts.” But, cheer up male partners: “Mr. & Mrs.” overshadows “Mrs. and Mr.” by a nearly seven to one margin. And, “boys & girls” outnumber “girls & boys” by about the same ratio. On the other hand, “ladies & gentlemen” still beats “gentlemen & ladies” by well over ten to one.

Be the First to Use these Fresh, New Words!

Here are some new words. Many of them come from my 11 and 13 year old children:

A new term of endearment for you to use: Dear + Darling = Dearling

Funcle: a fun uncle (not to be confused with funkle, a funky uncle)

Recyclopedia: an encyclopedia of reused words (or, as my daughter says, an encyclopedia of homophones)

Docktour: a tour of a dock, of course. I guess a Doctour would be a tour of a hospital staff

Insanitize: To make insanely clean

New Words You May Not Have Known You Needed

1. Hando – a hand-written typo – “It’s not supposed to say ‘parslip,’ that’s just a hando.”
2. Magnifiscent – a really great smell – “What’s cooking in here? It’s magnifiscent!”
3. Dinosore – a little boo-boo on a dinosaur’s paw – “The T-Rex is just cranky because she has a dinosore.”

Brain Anagrams

Ways to remember brain functions:

1. The Neocortex

This is a recently evolved part of the mammalian brain. It’s the large portion of the brain that houses executive functions involving abstract thought and language, and sends out motor commands. There is no hotter executive than the neocortex.

In fact, an anagram for The Neocortex is No Hotter Exec.