1. If you’re a Black woman in an otherwise White movie, you are: a sassy medical receptionist; a bland judge (if there are no other Black people in the movie) or a Loyal Black Friend (LBF). Good news though, female LBFs are no longer required to die, especially in romantic comedies.
- A female protagonist will always call her female enemy a “bitch” before killing her. It doesn’t matter if it’s a human, monster or shark – all of their trappings and complexities are discarded as they are collapsed down to a simple “bitch”.
If you ever find yourself in a movie, especially a thriller of any kind, here are some things you may wish to avoid:
- Never say, “You guys go ahead; I’ll catch up with you later.” Something baaaaad will happen to you.