Neo-Wordism, Neo-Poetry and What Not to Do

Daisybrain is where the world shops for new words and better definitions of existing words. Welcome.

Propose: What a professional model does

“Massage therapist” is too long. From now on, someone who massages is a Massagynist

Friendsy- A friend who’s always in a frenzy

Trainsport – to transport by train

Chocolate mouse: a small chocolate mousse

To simplify things, mittens are now called “hand socks.”

If you must ache, you can try a mustache. if not, try a mustnotache.

I would expect a pilot to be planespoken.

To simplify things, socks are now called “foot mittens.”

Underwhere: Lost underwear

Taciturd: a quiet poop

Lookout! Its the Po-Poems!

Happiness and Love

In between death and destruction are happiness and love

I celebrate today I celebrate this day

Looping

We have been looping through the last three months

Over and over and over

Memories from before then were implanted

False history

We are lab rats running the same course over & over

Results indicate that we never stop making the same mistakes

I guess we are pre-programmed to fail 

Stop Doing the Following:

Saying “the new normal.”

Liking and retweeting anything that celebrities post, especially if it’s “My dog is getting petted,” or “I sometimes eat ice cream.” If you truly love your celebrity, stop encouraging them! Their egos will explode! “I see a cloud” does not need 4,000 retweets in an hour.

Hitting like on a selfie, ever, even to pretend that you think someone is good looking.

Telling some beautiful person who post a sexy picture that they are beautiful. It is not revelatory information to them, and it will not compel them to have sex with you.

Starting a broadcast with, “In these uncertain times….”

And don’t ever, ever start a video with, “Hey guys!”

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More word fun here:

 

 

 

On a Lighter Note…

Here are some things never before said on the internet! I call them Google virgins:

“I left my phlegm there”

“People remember pencils”

“Nobody will eat my toes”

“Strange that the internet knows nothing”

“String is an American treasure”

Neo-Definitions… just because

Tired of words and their stuffy old meanings? Now you can use the same words… differently! (Plus I threw a few made up words in there.)

Request: When you go on a quest… again

Pandemic: Too many pans

Transmute: A transgender person with laryngitis

Essential Workers: People forced to work and die to make more money for the elite rulers of the Greedocracy

The Essential Coronavirus Dictionary

• Covidiary: That is what I have been presenting in my Covideos
• Covideos: My covidiary series on Youtube.
• CoVidcon: What I assume the next iteration of the Vidcon video tech convention will be
• Cocovid: A delicious quarantine treat
• Coronazi: Protesters demanding that the elderly die so they can have uninterrupted mask-free pedicures
• Coronarcissist: Madonna, thinking that she is suffering, just like the poor people, from her isolation in her emerald rose petal-sprinkled tub
• Virustic: The quaint English countryside setting of Sir Patrick Stewart’s home whence he shares renditions of Shakespeare’s sonnets
• Hydroxychloroquine: Generic term for an alleged panacea that anyone who is not a moron knows will do more harm than good; see “injecting Lysol”
• Injecting Lysol: An expression meaning “We are all fucked”
• Quaranteenager: What we devolved to on about the 13th day of quarantine
• Quarantinfoil: What you wrap around your head whilst in quarantine to block the 5G signals that cause Covid.
• Quarantinderbox: What society feels like right before people riot for their right to get mask-free pedicures in a packed hot yoga locker room.
• Apocalipsync: The comedy stylings of Sarah Cooper
• 20: The number we all dread after we finally rid ourselves of Covid-19.

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Here are more words, arranged for your entertainment:

Infected Poems

I slated

I’m so elated

I slated 

isolated

Brand New Words!

The following words did not exist until I made them up. You’re welcome!

1. Flambertoast (n): Toast spread generously with flamberjam
2. Flamberjam (n): A sweet spread made of crushed flamberberries
3. Flamberberry (n): The fruit of the flamberbush
4. Flamberbush (n): The deciduous plant that produces the edible, and slightly radioactive, flamberberry

OK, one thing kind of led to another there. Breaking free of that loop. Here are some more practical new words:

I Kan’t SEE a Thing

Resently, the SEE key on my MakBook stopped working. This is annoying, but it kould have been worse. As you kan see, a ‘k’ or an ‘s’ is easily substituted, and for more formal kommuniation, I have taken to kopying and pasting the letter SEE. This takes up a bit of time, sine I kan’t just hit Kommand-SEE to kopy.

Words we need to make it through the next year

 

Junioring: The act of claiming innocence by stupidity

Internyet: Russian use of the internet to veto an election 

Fakicity: Obvious artificiality and fakeness presented by people pretending to be authority figures

Flerp: To pass on a brain activity due to media overload. Example: In response to a question about the Trump-Russia conspiracy,  “I flerp on that,” “I flerp,” or simply, “flerp.”

Poems that will get me killed

What can I say? I like a dramatic blog post title now and then.

Personal updates:

• I’ve decided to stop binge eating, beginning toorrow, so I have to finish off this loaf of “Four Cheese Medley Sweetbread” tonight.
• I thought of with a new word today, “Huwomanity,”and am pondering how to use it… other than in this announcement.

Fake Definitions… from Daisybrain

• Zoology: The study of zoos
• Astronomy: The study of asses
• Sociology: The study of sociopaths
• Rhinology: The study of Rhinos
• Sarcology: The study of sarcasm
• Cardiology: The study of playing cards
• Cosmetology: The study of the cosmos