Wordism

Compounding…

Chocolate, yes, but chocoearly and chocoften.

When someone says, “Somewhat,” ask, “Somewhy?”

When told, “Whatever,” reply with, “Whatnever!”

Strange Word Thoughts

Here are some useful definitions:

• Charity: an itty-bitty chair
• Underwhere?: lost underpants
• Relationship: A boatload of your relatives

Why is the plural of attorney attorneys and not attornies? Is it the fault of that ‘e’ before the ‘y’? In that case, get rid of it. From now on, it’s attorny and attornies. Of course, if you want to save money, you can call your atorny a-torn-knee, in which case your torn knee can act as its own legal representative in suing for compensation.

Idea #7: Pussy!

This is an idea that hatched when I was listening to NPR interview urban youth about the new, hip lexicon that oldsters don’t understand. Back then it was words like “phat” and “bad”. These things change over so quickly that it’s best not to use any new words that came from youth culture for fear that they may already be out of date and expose you as a youth poser.

New Word Needed

We all know that English has its limitations. Heck, we only have one word for “snow.” But I would like to bring to your attention a serious shortcoming that demands some quick action on the part of word inventors. The word “sorry” is used both to apologize and to express sympathy. This gets us into inevitable misunderstandings. How many times have you had the following conversation, about your tuba?