Possibly the Worst DB Post of All Time – Don’t Miss it!!!

Vegescarian – A scary vegetarian. I’m sure there are some out there.

Cappichinos – My coffee stained chinos.

Pun Krock

Punk Rock puns, for that demographic of readers that probably only exists in my head.

These songs are best sung along to the originals.

Pretty Valium
(Sung to the tune of the Sex Pistols’ Pretty Vacant)

There’s no use in aspirin, you’ll get no relief
Valium’s the one that you’ve gotta believe
If you cannot reason & it’s all too much
You’ll feel much better – take Valium for lunch

Words and Such

 

Without your innate ability to urinate, you’re in urine trouble.

Which leads us to this list of dreadfully important new words:

• Urinatability: Your innate ability to urinate.

Thought Pimples

• Jew-ish: kind of Jewish. “Why isn’t he coming to services? I thought he was Jewish.” “Well, he’s Jew-ish.”
• There are small and capital letters; there should be small and capital numbers. They would function in the same way as the capital letters. You would capitalize the first in a string of numbers. 10,217 would be ⊥0,2017. 297 would be ⊆97. I leave the rest of the characters to you to figure out.
• Shockingly, this sentence has never, until now, appeared anywhere online: “Honey, I dismembered the kids.”

Word is a Funny

Blog posts need pictures. Here’s one:

Picture

Funny is a word, and by the Commutative Law, word is a funny. Here are some ways that word is a funny:

Here are Some Further Assaults on the English Language

Here are some Redefinitions:

A rest stop: When the police pull you over to arrest you

Ironic: Having qualities of iron. Example: “Iron Man is ironic.”

Stand-Up Comedy One-Liners by Daisybrain

Try these comedic one-liners on your next comedy tour. Note: By using them, you agree end each joke with, “So sayeth Daisybrain.”

• If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?