Limp Avian Turd vs. El Zen Sky

April 15, 2022

Daisybrain has migrated from WordPress over to Medium. In the process, it split into two blogs: Daisybrain and OCD-Free. The following post is reprinted from Daisybrain.

Please join Medium and follow both my blogs!

It’s time to squeeze more puns an anagrams out of the wilted cabbage that is my brain.

  • Travel logs sound unwieldy for travel. I would suggest travel twigs.
  • If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?
  • Every Christmas I feel cramped, because I always try to live in the present. But that’s a long time to stay still in a box under a tree.
  • When I think about the looming prospect of a Russian invasion of Ukraine, I am unsettled by the following indisputable facts:
  1. The letters of “Russia” can be rearranged to spell Sir USA, which makes Russia just a medieval version of the USA, which itself is the most violent country in the world, having invaded more nations than any other country in history.
  2. “Ukraine” can be rearranged to spell air nukes.
  3. Sanctions” cast no sin. But “warfare” causes raw fear.
  4. It makes sense that “European” sounds like “You’re a-peein’,” since “Europe” is our pee.
  5. The Russians better watch out for Kamala Harris, since her name rearranges to spell Am liar shark(Or Ma Liar Shark).
  6. Joseph Biden presents as a bit more passive, with the anagrams Bed Pies John and Needs hip job.
  7. I don’t know what it means, but Joseph Biden can also be rearranged to spell “Hep jibes, son!” Which sounds like something he’d say.
  8. Most alarming are the Vladimir Putin anagrams: A Invalid Trump, Laid Vain Trump, VIP Admiral Nut, VIP until drama, Mad Turnip Vial, Variant Mud Lip, Invalid Apt. Rum, Animal Turd VIP, Valiant Rum Dip, Timid Pun Larva, Valiant Rump ID, Dim Lava Turnip, Avian Dirt Lump, Valiant Mud Rip, Limp Avian Turd, Putrid Anal Vim (has he sent the assassins after me yet?), Lava Rim Pundit, Invalid Rat Ump, Laid Up Varmint, Maudlin Rat VIP, Diurnal Vat Imp, Plain TV Radium, Primal Nut Diva, And Virtual Imp.
  9. Whereas Ukraine’s “Zelensky” is simply El Zen Sky.
  • In other world news, “global warming” is a blaming growl, an aging warm boil, and an all raging wombI like the imagery of the all raging womb of Mother Earth fighting against the aging warm boil of the planet caused by the blaming growl of humans in denial.

(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)

That’s all the blog I have time for before whatever it is I do besides blogging. Come visit me on Medium.


Names for Annoying College A cappella Bands

October 29, 2019

karaoke fun

Time to get back to my roots here at Daisybrain. Here’s a blog consisting entirely of bad puns.

Bad names for annoying college a cappella bands:

  • The Note-Takers
  • The Vocal Chords

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vegetables kill

June 12, 2017

angry_fruit_by_fotokolaj-d3ilpvv

Angry Fruit By Fotokolaj On Deviantart

Author’s note: The headline of this post was created for dramatic effect, but to stay on the safe side, we should follow the following:

  • Appease the peas
  • Choke the artichokes

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Blow Your Mind with these Totally Random Blog Post Items

July 31, 2015

Catchy Slogans Seemingly Devoid of Meaning:

Ignore the ignorant!

Expunge the sponges!

Down With Gravity!

Freedomination!

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Jeux de Mots en Anglais!

March 19, 2015

Here are some strange, yet completely true, sentences;

  • I messed around in toast and became Taoist.
  • Eric, a man, is American.

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Possibly the Worst DB Post of All Time – Don’t Miss it!!!

February 25, 2015

Vegescarian – A scary vegetarian. I’m sure there are some out there.

Cappichinos – My coffee stained chinos.

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My Brilliant Laziness Astonishes Me

September 16, 2014

My brain told me to cull through my tweets to create a blog post, thus avoiding any new thinking. Who am I to argue with my brain? Here you go:

 

  • Tuesday, Sept 16:

The world’s first joke: “Grok say I deny everything. That not true.”

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How to Make Life Better with Words

July 29, 2014
  • Whenever I’m lonely, I take my carpet, add a space and I have a car pet that I take with me on road trips.

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New Words for Old

May 27, 2014

Slight misspellings can create a new world of words. It’s like the genetic mutations that make evolution possible. So, here’s to the evolution of the language:

  • Independance: A solo dance
  • Burgerlar: A hamburger thief

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Like, Share, Follow, Repost, Reblog, Retweet & Love Me! (I don’t sound desperate, do I?)

April 3, 2014

How to change numbers:

  • Take all the fours in the world, put them all together, and you have a meta-4.
  • Pulverize a pound of eights and you have pile of particuleights.
  • Seven and eleven are odd numbers, yet they are made mostly of even (seven and eleven). Take the evens out and replace them with the more fitting odd, and you have sodd and elodd. Please use these versions from now on. Thank you.
  • “Nine” sounds exactly like the German word for “no”. This is far too negative for a positive number. From now on, let’s leave off the e, and call it “nin“. It will also help to immortalize the band Nine Inch Nails (NIN), which will, in turn, help us to remember that it stands for 9. Of course, the band will have to drop the e as well. This will make them Nin Inch Nails, and they can get rid of the superfluous part and finally just be Nin.
  • From millipede to millennium, the prefix mill- means thousand. Yet, we use it to denote a number 1,000 times greater than 1,000. From now on, we will be calling this number: 1,000 “one million.” Please adjust your math homework and test answers accordingly.

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