I Kan’t SEE a Thing

Resently, the SEE key on my MakBook stopped working. This is annoying, but it kould have been worse. As you kan see, a ‘k’ or an ‘s’ is easily substituted, and for more formal kommuniation, I have taken to kopying and pasting the letter SEE. This takes up a bit of time, sine I kan’t just hit Kommand-SEE to kopy.

Read this and You Can Pretend You are in My Brain

Here are some recent thinks:

• A name for a company that cleans up mildew: Mildon’t
• I just saw “free range eggs” on the menu of this diner. Why would anyone put eggs in cages in the first place?

Not to Mention…

So Gay:

Here is one of my fantasy speeches to the student body of the middle school where I work:

“Mr. Benson has been very hurt by your use if the word ‘Christian’ as an insult. I hear you all the time, saying, ‘That class is so Christian, I hate it!’ and ‘Your back pack is totally Christian – it looks stupid.’ How do you think that makes Mr. Benson, who is a Christian, feel? Oh wait – you don’t use Christian as an insult, do you? That’s right, you use the words ‘gay’ and ‘retarded’ as insults. My mistake.”

Some Thoughts in My Daisy Brain

A good name for a dog: Dogma

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It bugs me when I hear people on the radio precede some term they’ve coined with the phrase, “what I call…” or “what I like to call…”. I hear them all the time in interviews: “Well, Jenna, the economy has contracted into what I call a ‘contracto-sphere.'” They should just say what they want to say, instead of pretending that they are such experts that they had to invent a language to convey their brilliance. It seems arrogant, or what I like to call “aero-giant”.