Neo-Definitions… just because

Tired of words and their stuffy old meanings? Now you can use the same words… differently! (Plus I threw a few made up words in there.)

Request: When you go on a quest… again

Pandemic: Too many pans

Transmute: A transgender person with laryngitis

Essential Workers: People forced to work and die to make more money for the elite rulers of the Greedocracy

Desperately Important New Words and Thoughts from Daisybrain

Unlike some new word sites, you do not have to pay me a royalty every time you use these words. But a tip would be nice.

Flossophy – the philosophy of dental care

New Words for Old

Slight misspellings can create a new world of words. It’s like the genetic mutations that make evolution possible. So, here’s to the evolution of the language:

• Independance: A solo dance
• Burgerlar: A hamburger thief

Here are Some Further Assaults on the English Language

Here are some Redefinitions:

A rest stop: When the police pull you over to arrest you

Ironic: Having qualities of iron. Example: “Iron Man is ironic.”

Word is the Bird: A Guide to English

I know English can be confusing. That’s why I am providing this helpful* guide.

Buried – the past tense of berry (also spelled berried)

Relate – to be late again

Latest Releases from the Department of New Definitions

1. Retire: Replacing worn tires
2. Accidental: Mistake made by a dentist
3. Dishonest: An innovative way to stack dishes (pronounced “dish-o-nest”)
4. Prompromiscuity: Promiscuity at the prom
5. Promising: A group singalong at the prom
6. Promissing: A lost prom
7. Category: Describes a gory movie about zombie cats
8. Forgetting: In favor of getting something (“I’m all forgetting cheeseburgers!”)
9. Bandaid: from Danté: “A bandaid all hope ye who enter here with a boo-boo.”
10. Explain: Formerly plain… now fancy!

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And here, now, are some Wordiferous Wanderings….

Two Random Acts of Language Cruelty

Now for a few definitions:

• Dogmatic: An automatic response from a dog, such as wagging the tail when you say, “treat”.
• Catalog: The cat’s favorite scratching post.
• Caravan: A car dressed up to look like a van.
• Example: Formerly ample, now not enough.
• Fungus: Uncle Gus… he is so much fun.
• Carbon: “good car” in French. Odd, since cars produce carbon and carbon is so bad for the environment. Somebody should tell the French.

and here is a poem…

He drinks chai tea at Tai Chi

The clever lad is leather clad

Wearing steel, he grabs the steering wheel

And at a fierce pace, with a pierced face

He drives his llama, alive with drama

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Click for more fun with the word tea:

My New List of Silly Definitions

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Take this, humanity:

Exit: Something that formerly was it, is now an ex-it.

Pandemic: A widespread disease affecting pandas.

Category: A gory horror movie about cats.

Penalize: To turn something into a penis.

Testes: Small tests, or quizzes.