Things There Should Be

June 21, 2017

Here are some things that there should be:

  • Two names for two types of family – the family you came from, and the family you formed. The way things are now, we have sentences like, “Our family goes to my wife’s family. Then, I go to my family, but not with my family – they stay with her family.” I have been recently informed that the family you came from is called your “family of origin,” but that’s too remote sounding. How about “Parental Family” and “Self-Family”? Something. When you have the answer, post it in a comment, and I’ll tell the people in charge of speech.

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Product Suggestions for 2015 and Beyond!

October 9, 2014

New Things WeNeed

  1. Why do laptops only plug in on one side? I don’t know about those things that aren’t Macs, but with Macs, it’s just the left side, which always seems wrong – the outlet is always on the wall to the right. My #1 suggestion for 2015 is Bilateral Power Inputs: Let us plug in on either side. Are ya with me, world?
  2. Subscription Parking: If Parking Meter Pay Apps (above) are somehow impractical, I suggest that cities sell parking subscriptions. Let me leave a doodad of some sort on my dashboard that officers could scan to show that I’m paid up for the month. Even a paper thingy with my license plate number printed on it, that I could hang from the rear view mirror would be a fine low-tech solution.
  3. Parking Meter Pay apps: When I’m wasting my life away writing blog posts in a cafe, I don’t want to be bothered asking the barista for change and then running out in the rain to put another quarter in the meter. I should be able to click on the meter number and deposit money remotely. And if I felt generous, I could put money in other people’s meters that way.
  4. Face Blurring App: At some point, Apple will come out with its own version of Google glasses & then everyone will be walking around looking through screens that identify everyone who comes into their field of view, or even people in the general vicinity. At that point, we should also have an obscuration app that hide our identities – the viewer would actually see a blurred face when they looked our way.
  5. Spray-On Tortilla Chips: Spray instant tortilla chips from a can! Get artistic – any household object will work as a tortilla chip mold; spray it onto a balloon filled with tortilla chips for a tortilla chip piñata; or spray onto your body for a crunchy, delicious exoskeleton. This will be the start of a huge trend in spray-on foods.

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