Now time to procrastinate by writing a blog post. Remember, it’s not just some amateur crastination – it’s a pro. That’s why I am obligated to do it. You gotta listen to the pros – protractors (much better for farming than amateur tractors), procreation (God was an amateur creator; I look for creations made by pros), programmers (English teachers are pro grammars), proteins (amateur teens just don’t know how to rebel), prostitutes (clearly better than substitutes) and proverbs (regular verbs are boring).
Iron is both an essential nutrient and a health hazard linked to heart disease and cancer. But they should have known about this contradiction – after all, iron forms the basis of the word ironic.
Does rearranging the names of countries reveal some underlying truth about those countries? Let’s try it & see….
The letters of countries, rearranged:
- Germany = Angry Me
Before those of you who are eligible cast your indirect vote for US President (I hope all of you have come to know your state electors well, since your vote just technically authorizes them to vote on your behalf) it’s important to really know the candidates. Yes, you can look at position papers, voting history and party platforms, but it’s much more revealing (and fun) to see what their very names tell us.
Let’s start with President Obama:
Breastitution* – What the Susan G. Komen Foundation is gonna have to pay Planned Parenthood
Here are even more oddities about the English language:
- Why do we say, “even and odd,” but when it comes to ends and odds the odds go first?
- Please stop saying, “but yet.” But and yet mean the same thing. Try, “and yet,” or just, “but.”
- Here’s an old classic that recently reared its nonsensical head: “Irregardless.” It generally suffices to say, “regardless,” unless you are trying to negate the negative and come up with an adverb form of regard.
- “Same difference”: Huh?
- How about didgeridon’ts for those who don’t like didgeridoos?* Read the rest of this entry »
For maximum effect, please read these sentences out loud:
If a vulture mulches, I would call that vulture mulcher a cultured vulture. Read the rest of this entry »
The path can be found in sympathy and empathy.
It’s so easy to believe a lie because a lie is at the center of believe.
Assassination is so bad it has two asses in it. Read the rest of this entry »