Before those of you who are eligible cast your indirect vote for US President (I hope all of you have come to know your state electors well, since your vote just technically authorizes them to vote on your behalf) it’s important to really know the candidates. Yes, you can look at position papers, voting history and party platforms, but it’s much more revealing (and fun) to see what their very names tell us.
Let’s start with President Obama:
- The President’s first name, “Barack,” means blessing. It’s derived from the Hebrew Baruch.
- Mr. Obama’s middle name, “Hussein,” is Arabic for good or handsome. True enough.
- “Obama” is a Kenyan name derived from obam, which means to bend or to lean, which may explain the President’s flexibility in problem-solving.
- Here are some words that spring from the letters in Barack Hussein Obama: humor, somber, some risk, hero, kisser, and home run.
As for Mr. Romney.
- “Mitt” is obviously short for Mitty: An ordinary, timid person who indulges in daydreams involving great adventures and triumphs (derived from the Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber). See also: Mittish and Mittyesque.
- “Romney” contains the letters of the word money. In fact, “Romney” is mostly made of m-o-n-e-y.
- Other words that can be found in the name “Willard Mitt Romney”: nimrod, trained worm, trim & minty, mild, letdown and twit.
- And, of course, the Internet has defined “Romney” as: To defecate in terror, in reference to Mr. Romney’s practice of strapping his dog to the roof of his car on long family trips, stopping only to hose off the terrified animal after it has soiled itself.
So, America, you decide: Do we want a handsome, blessed hero who is also a good kisser as President, or a trained worm made out of money? The choice is yours.