- p-mail: When I take my dog out in the morning, he sniffs from tree to tree to check his p-mail.
- iPatch: The duct tape you use to patch up your cracked iPod case
- Outernet: our ever-diminishing life outside the world wide web
- X-Ray-J image: a picture of a rejected contestant from “For the Love of Ray-J”
- Full Body Scam: a security procedure designed to prevent terrorists with body image issues from boarding a plane. Unintended benefit: Many people will work hard to lose weight before they fly.
- Wedsite: a site where people get married online
- Scat Scan: A medical procedure in which feces are scanned to see if you swallowed your keys
- Internyet: when the Russian government censors the internet
- Socialist networking sites: examples are OurSpace, Comradster, Facecollective, Twitnik, Twittenista, Twitrosky, and Bolshitter (Bolshevik + Twitter)
- Hardwhere?: missing thumb drive
- WWW = World Wide Waste: after the inevitable crash of the world wide web and subsequent loss of all human knowledge
Tomorrow’s technology, today! Under this flower: