Strange Word Thoughts

Here are some useful definitions:

  • Charity: an itty-bitty chair
  • Underwhere?: lost underpants
  • Relationship: A boatload of your relatives

Why is the plural of attorney attorneys and not attornies? Is it the fault of that ‘e’ before the ‘y’? In that case, get rid of it. From now on, it’s attorny and attornies. Of course, if you want to save money, you can call your atorny a-torn-knee, in which case your torn knee can act as its own legal representative in suing for compensation.

In the 50s horror flick, “The Crawling Eye,” they should have used the old standard, “I Ain’t Got Nobody,” as the theme music.

By far, the U.S. has invaded more countries than any other nation in history. At first, some of our targets may seem arbitrary (Grenada?). But if you take the first letters of the countries the U.S. has bombed or sent combat troops to in the last 20 years, they spell out this important message:

Liberia (1990, 1997, 2003); Saudi Arabia (1990-91); Iraq (1990-1991, 1991-1993, 1998, 2003-?); Kuwait (1991); Los Angeles (Army & Marines deployed against an anti-police uprising, 1992); Somalia (1992-94, 2006-?); Yugoslavia (1992-94, 1999); Bosnia (1993-?); Haiti (1994, 2004-2005); Zaire (1996-97); Albania (1997); Sudan (1998); Afghanistan (1998, 2001-?); Yemen (2000, 2002, 2009); Macedonia (2001); Philippines (2002-?); Colombia (2003-?); Pakistan (2005-?); Syria (2008):

Sally Z. is Skab Happy Clam

or, possibly,

Sally Z. is Skab Clappy Ham

Either way, we now know the secret identity of Skab Happy Clam or Skab Clappy Ham.

Here are some more useful definitions:

  • Drone attacks: murders that we commit
  • Targeted killings: murders that the Israeli government commits
  • Terrorist Assassinations: murders that people we don’t like commit

“Intoxicated” should be easier to say while intoxicated.

-[]-

Incredibly, the following domain names have never been registered and are AVAILABLE to you:

http://www.couchfart.com

http://www.reproducingpenguin.com (and its more obscene brethren, http://www.f*ingpenguin.com and http://www.screwingpenguins.com)

http://www.phlegmnaton.com

http://www.industrialphlegm.com

http://www.nosedrip.com

http://www.movedbowel.com

although http://www.bowelmovement.com is taken, no one has registered http://www.bowelmotion.com

But wait! There’s more!

http://www.fallingtomato.com is unclaimed, as is

http://www.brokencabbage.com and

http://www.spinefluid.com

And, finally, http://www.tinkerbellhell.com is also available.

Here’s some more Strange Daisybrain Stuff.

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3 Responses to Strange Word Thoughts

  1. Samir Hafza says:

    For those who think “invading” Los Angeles is a stretch, you can substitute the “L” for Lebanon, which the U.S. Marines invaded in the early 1980’s under the orders of Ronald Reagan. We lost 241 Marines in a single day in an ill-fated mission. Then we left with our tail between our legs, because we reacted to a boiling situation in a country we didn’t understand. That ultimately had strengthened a group, now named Hizballah, which now basically controls the country and is a pawn for Iran.
    We, Americans, never learn. As the French saying goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” (” plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.”)
    History, at least in American foreign policy, seems to always repeat itself–unfortunately.
    When will we, Americans, ever understand that pouring power or money into a problem may never help, and, in fact, could sometimes make things worse, a lot worse.

    Cheers.

    Like

    • EricIndiana says:

      Yes, that Lebanon base that was bombed that resulted in the US fleeing seems to be a source of inspiration to violent groups fighting the US. I didn’t include Lebanon because I was only going back to 1990. The further you go back, the more interesting the messages you can spell. If you go back to Vietnam, and maybe use the “V” from El SalVadore, you might be able to spell out “Elvis Lives,” which I suspect was an early message the US was trying to send when they chose their targets. Without Vietnam, you can almost spell “Buy American.”

      Like

  2. Joe Nickell says:

    Eric,

    Thanks for solving this riddle. After a little sleuthing (and with assistance from my friend, Frank) I’ve found Sally Z! She is masquerading as a self-appointed restaurant and grocery store critic in Los Angeles. Crafty cover. Note that all of her friends only go by their first name and last initial. You know what THAT means….

    Like

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