• Consider the difference a comma can make:
The classic Christmas song, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,”
vs. the cannibal song, “Chest, nuts, roasting on an open fire.”
• Here’s something you hear from kids in the 21st century that you never used to hear:
“Just let me finish this level.”
• Someone should invent fake vegetarian products for meat eaters who miss being vegetarians. For instance, there should be a fake tofu made from pork. Or a fake fake hotdog – we already have “Smart Dogs,” which look and act pretty much like hot dogs. We could have “Dumb dogs,” which look & taste like fake hot dogs but actually are made of real hotdogs with bean curd flavoring added. Or, fake fake bacon made from real bacon but disguised to look like artificial bacon. The possibilities are as endless as they are pointless.
• Tired of English? Or, at least, tired of annoying expressions in English like, Baby Bump, Man Cave, and The New Normal? You’re not alone. Lake Superior State University is on a mission to banish annoying words & expressions. You can even suggest your own on their Facebook page. My number one word to banish: “absolutely,” when a simple “yes” would do.
• Here are some interesting palindromes involving dogs, poop & God:
Dog lived as a devil god.
Dog, no poop on God!
Lap poop, pal!
• Why is it that the more expensive a hotel is, the more they charge for stuff that cheap hotels give away for free, like internet service and breakfast? Are you paying more in order to pay more?
• And finally, a lot has been made of the internet joke by which presidential candidate Rick Santorum‘s last name has been defined as a repugnant substance involving discharge from the hinder regions. I thought that this was unfair to Mr. Santorum, so I decided to write a note to Rick expressing my condolences. I figured that he wouldn’t mind if I started the note by rearranging the letters in “Santorum” to spell To Mr. Anus. Of course, I then had to express further condolences for the fact that his name spells “To Mr. Anus,” which must be upsetting in light of the internet definition of his name. I’m sure that after the election his ass will be quickly forgotten.
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Behind this flower lies more word weirdness:
This is my 2007 thesis for Lesley University's Masters of Education in Curriculum Design, focusing in Conflict Resolution and Peaceable Schools:
Daisybrain 
I live in a two story house about sights distance from a elementary school and everyday all the parents come to pick up thier children(including my one and only doter.) so, anyway, i spend alot of time on my computer upstairs so i like to look out the window when i hear all the doors slamming….and see the children(and parents) appearing and disapearing into thier cars and schools and homes…..now….formerly i lived in iran…and before that africa…..places where schools are few and far between and people generally do as they please….well, in my world travels i have found that as a whole….the united states is the only country that claims to have more problems with legal/education/religious/military/money problems…i find this to be untrue……especially after arriving in sweden and my visits to these foreign countries (which are considered to be neutral(aka we won’t talk about that because they are etremely happy and free and well, that kind of freedom just isn’t for everyone at once because they are very protective over thier freedom and the security of the intensity of thier military and homeland security in thier country extends all over the world in it’s ever expanding shrinki-tude)as, now i get to my point….we these netural countries are not “free” as in “freedom is not free” they are free as in “parents and chosen of the Word-free”….essentially they are free because alot of people tend to think of “don’t care” as free and it is not….”don’t care because i am not caring…i am laughing! laughing at you piss ants that are tied up and yet still free…unless i choose to let you choose but yet you are not free to do so ! hahahahah! ” is more the attitude toward Americans and the rest of the world…unless they so choose….so here is the problem….America is soooooo close to these countries and needs these countries help so badly because of thier resolve to suceed and have freedom as thier badge of courage even until the end of time……why? How? How is because a long time ago these people traveled to the worst place on earth to live…..a place where the water appears to be able to at any time engulf and destroy the whole shadoobie….and yet….doesn’t so at any time they have the excuse of total desolation of humanitys spirit at hand as a religious “sign of mourning/morning star proof” basically what this means is that they say that god told them to find a place to purpose a vexation against elemental persons…again i say this is “basic” information which is christian because convieniently the word tobacco(or some spelling close to it) means to cover your mouth and no insinuation is given of coughing….so here is the truth out loud as it stands….blood is required for inSINuation…and religion was invented to cover murder and war….essentially it controls the weather….and it itself is a along with every other religion is a book of wares for war…..war with the elements, animals, and human war exists because of these suggestions and by the screams of “i beg to differ” it existed before anyways….save the fact that humans have always been subject to animals and even accidentally killed by them….at times accidentally due to the fact that “dinosaurs” were killing humans and “eating them” before that anyways…nevermind “dinosaurs are not animals but a BIGGER name for a race of beings that consume humans by some means that is unknown to me as of now and will probably remain that way”….so as this is ALL TRUE….it is now I who am telling you that the Dutch are ruled by others who wished to remain unidentified(hmmm….did that dent-get into to bite? Wampeers?hmmmm….i am hungry afte mixing blood and wine….hmmmm….isn’t that what they did to “Jesus” aka ALLAH-you-idiots too. So, the wedding band is a remnant slash “scarlett letter”….oh wait… have to go out to eat with my family…explaining “Jewery’s” history….and the explanation of what happens when you die and why it sometimes hurts to live and the entirity of what religions good or bad or evil or wicked or Righteous or indignant or god or jesus or the devil and mrs.Jones((my-exs-live inhiding and no-hiding is not in Texas)<-my mom wanted to throw that one in there))and that all forms of education are draconian…even kindergarten(hmmm.an oddly foreign word not of German invention aka Hitler tried to compete and out this information at the same time aka there are no real africans those are draconian dissenters aka secret chiefs of jewery/lock breaking by sound or music..aka time traversing by occupatin i.e. why they are all dying of aids and need lots of drugs to smoke i mean take for thier illness….which is pure ass-holery and kicking your ass for just existing.) Supposedly outing all this information or removal from the feeder will make you fat unless you excersize which is a split decision of dutchery…they don't like to wear clothes so they don't really care to much….aaaany huderite colony(oh what ees dis! a not very well known english dutch colony that still exists in america that is like ohmish but is neither poor uneducated unpsycic un-anarchist or better said hanarchristophe…..(aka gayman) or Origin/DracoKnian(relative to knights or the "Original Icelandic Hords of Warriors" Remeber all this is supposed….and that's another religious front because you everyone is Jealous of free people who are not bothered by anything except not being able to kill tons of people except on t.v. which is real(partly) and some of the people are unwitting volunteers to this abuse…..reveals that the only real work to do on planet earth is dying and lying about what you do while you are "alive" aka a battery…wow this sounds like the matrix….which would be another religiou reference to make people choose not to believe it….achem….matrix, which would be what it looked like if a "truley free god(eagle) were to look down on us and see us moving(as ants) in a dot matrix type movement….so the devil is the god of the air, huh…..the devil is the Pride of Lie…….or pride of fair destruction and war….the god of immunity by removal by gft of "PURE" existance i had to go back and put pure in cause m in the south….which means "solid born" or "REAL" or "MADE TO DIE TILL IT COULD LIVE OR BE HIDDEN TO RISE AGAIN" hmmmm…still sounding like Hitler….oh well….i'm not dutch-lovin' anyways…..gotta go smelt some moses…or eat some food….we used to/and probably still do\ eat people an animals…..peace out yall…did you know that the peace sign over a circle…the eagles perception of the shape of mans rule…or weakness and cause for destruction or assimiltaion…is actually a symbol for DEATH…The occupier of the Eagle….oh and the word kaegle means lower case standard issue desert eagle or dissenter or not fit for spit….or MACK-DONALDS…..aka NOKZWR(naughtius) i cant even spell a bad word! anyways…enjoy the lack drugs and remember never kick a pot! it may be full of plaxiorangeflexlex! AKA DEATH FROM ABOVE! Oh how i love Johnny Napalm! Rock on in the flea world Minions!Ais AUGHTA HER!
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