“Hey Guys!”

August 22, 2014

What is with “Guys”? More specifically, why do young adults now address every group of people as “guys”? I was watching The Next Food Network Star and one of the finalists began their demo pilot show, the audition used to compete for their own show on the Food Network, with “Hey guys!” It’s as if she thought that the entire, diverse TV audience were a small group of her friends. But they weren’t.

OK, I sense that I’m not making my point strongly enough here, so let me give you another example. We just took our son to visit a college that he might apply to. We were taken on a campus tour by a student who addressed all of us – teenagers, parents, grandparents – as “guys,” as in, “OK, guys, look over here, guys. This is where you guys come if you guys want a late night snack, and over here guys, if you guys need a book, ok guys, then you get it from the library, guys….” He used the word “guys” as frequently as some people insert “um” into their speech.

The widespread use of the word “guys” to address any group of people strikes me as a symptom of the complete lack of distinction that newly minted people make between different audiences. All filters that adjusted the way previous generations interacted with others have disappeared. Public school teachers know this; students talk to them the same way they talk to their friends, parents, pet gerbils….

The students leading families on college tours think nothing of sprinkling in swear words, or making jokes about drinking beer in public. It’s remarkably like the way teenagers post to Facebook, completely oblivious to who’s seeing their posts and apparently imagining that they are hanging out with their close friends and having private conversations. That’s why you go on Facebook and see posts like “She knows what the fuck I mean” or “But it’s not my turn to do it, you ass hat.”

The people posting sentences meant for just one close friend to their hundreds of Facebook friends are our future college professors, who will address large lecture halls with, “OK, guys, there’s homework tonight.” One of them will be President in a few scant years and address the nation on the brink of war with, “Hey guys, you know that last country that I bombed? Well guys, they got mad.” Maybe they will start the speech with a nod to historic presidential speech with, “My fellow guys….”

Maybe I’m being stodgy. Maybe it will be a better future when all social distinctions are eliminated. I should probably jump on the bandwagon. But, I’m not fond of the word “guy” to describe people of all genders, ages and stations in life. I prefer “dumbfucks,” which is what I use with my closest friends. It’s gender neutral and I think my teenage friends will appreciate the edginess. So go ahead and call everyone “guys,” dumbfucks. I respect your language choices. Have a nice day, dumbfucks.

Hmmm…. This post took an unexpected turn at the end. I don’t know what came over me.  Click the flower for something more in line with my usual perseverations:

dasy1


New Hampshire Living – Haiku from the Hinterlands

August 9, 2014

 

Cozy little home

Nestled between the mountains

Our sanctuary

 

White_mountains_new_hampshire-1

 

White River Junction
Industrial railroad town
Now home to hipsters
State run liquor stores
But that’s not Socialism
Just good business sense

 

Pledge of Allegiance
Even when no one’s looking
Hand over the heart

 

There’s nothing to eat
All of the restaurants suck
We will starve to death

 

Flatlanders come here
We don’t take kindly to them
Go back to New York

 

 Vegetarians
Living in the White Mountains
We are aliens
Click this daisy for the Ramones, in haiku:
dasy1

August 15 Peace Projection

August 7, 2014

peace copy

Recently, I’ve been practicing a form of the Buddhist Metta Bhavana, or Loving Kindness Meditation. In it, I concentrate on projecting unconditional love and good wishes to all life forms. It feels so powerful that I was thinking it may have a beneficial effect if many people were to synchronize the practice and send powerful thoughts and feelings of love and compassion to specific groups of people.

That’s the idea behind the August 15 Peace Projection. On August 15, 2014 at exactly 12:00 midnight GMT, participants will simultaneously project thoughts, prayers and feelings of love and healing to the peoples of Syria, Palestine and Israel.

If you are interested, please visit the Facebook page: This Link, and “Like” to pledge to participate.

Most importantly, I really need your help to promote the August 15 Peace Projection. Please consider posting to social media forums and spreading the word in any way you know how.

About the time:

Your time to participate may be on the 14th or later on the 15th – For example, August 15 at 12:00 midnight GMT is 8:00 pm on the 14th on the East Coast of the United States. To find out what your local time is relative to GMT, click here.

Here are some examples of Loving Kindness Meditations:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/metta-sutra-for-palestine-israel/

http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/loving-kindness.htm

Feel free to use one of these, or your own practice, and add the people of the Middle East (specifically Syria, Israel and Palestine for this event) to your thoughts.

Heres another idea for Peace in the Middle East:

dasy1


Powdered Sugar Undermines Croissant

August 5, 2014
confectioners sugar

King Arthur Flour Chocolate Croissant (artist rendition)

 

Norwich, VT – Local chocolate croissant connaisseur Eric Spears has stopped purchasing King Arthur Flour chocolate croissants due to excessive powdered sugar. King Arthur Flour makes, “Hands down, the best, most authentic croissants in the Upper Valley,” according to Spears, “But then they cake them in powdered sugar. I’m not going to scrape off half an inch of powdered sugar to get to the croissant,” adding, “It’s a matter of principle.”

Spears’ family and friends are concerned that he is no longer eating his daily chocolate croissant. “I could always rely on Eric to enjoy a King Arthur Flour croissant,” says Neflith (last name withheld be request). “But those days are gone. It was a time of innocence in our nation,” says Neflith, “before the advent of excessive powdered sugar.”

Asked if he is planning to share his feelings directly with King Arthur Flour, Eric says, “No, I’m just going to write this satirical article. Hopefully, they will get the message, and consider a change [in their croissants].”

Addendum:

I am sitting in the King Arthur Flour cafe as I type this. They have cut back on their powdered sugar! Maybe somebody read this post. I feel a mixture of pride for my accomplishment and shame for my obnoxiousness. Not a bad combo, as feelings go.

Speaking of powdered sugar:

dasy1


How to Make Life Better with Words

July 29, 2014
  • Whenever I’m lonely, I take my carpet, add a space and I have a car pet that I take with me on road trips.

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Read this and You Can Pretend You are in My Brain

July 26, 2014

Here are some recent thinks:

  • A name for a company that cleans up mildew: Mildon’t
  • I just saw “free range eggs” on the menu of this diner. Why would anyone put eggs in cages in the first place?

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We are Waves

July 24, 2014

We are, all of us, waves in the ocean

Made of the stuff around us

Read the rest of this entry »


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