Bad Yet Good Yet Bad Band Names

April 13, 2014


Unasked for, yes. Unreceived? No! It’s time for another onslaught of free band names, from Daisybrain.

  • Rock Candy
  • Bed Rock
  • Pen Nitrate
  • New Diddy
  • Bandy About Town
  • Harmonic Motion
  • Punk Rock Candy
  • Abandoned
  • You’re In Eight
  • Poopy Pants
  • Damn Nation (oops – I see this one already exists)
  • Disbanded
  • Band It
  • The Creeptons
  • Harmonic Resonance
  • Krypton Nights
  • The Krypton Knights
  • Knights of Krypton
  • Pun Crock
  • Sara Bellum and the Frontal Cortex
  • Spleen
  • Rubber Band
  • The Music Killers (This one was actually the name of a band I was in, but you can have it now.)
  • Gluttons for Punishment (also an old band name of mine, but now available at no cost to you)
  • Bandicoot
  • Trouble Clef
  • Despicable Bastards
  • Car Tunes
  • Crud
  • Panini Envy
  • Sweatband
  • Rock-a-Feller
  • A Tonal Band
  • The Stone Tones (maybe a Stones tribute band?)
  • The Self Tributes
  • Harmonic Convergence
  • New Wave Theory

Once again, you are invited to adopt any of these band names. All I ask in return is that you include the word “socknose” in the title of your first CD.

Maybe bands aren’t your thing. Here are some Business Name Ideas:





Like, Share, Follow, Repost, Reblog, Retweet & Love Me! (I don’t sound desperate, do I?)

April 3, 2014

How to change numbers:

  • Take all the fours in the world, put them all together, and you have a meta-4.
  • Pulverize a pound of eights and you have pile of particuleights.
  • Seven and eleven are odd numbers, yet they are made mostly of even (seven and eleven). Take the evens out and replace them with the more fitting odd, and you have sodd and elodd. Please use these versions from now on. Thank you.
  • “Nine” sounds exactly like the German word for “no”. This is far too negative for a positive number. From now on, let’s leave off the e, and call it “nin“. It will also help to immortalize the band Nine Inch Nails (NIN), which will, in turn, help us to remember that it stands for 9. Of course, the band will have to drop the e as well. This will make them Nin Inch Nails, and they can get rid of the superfluous part and finally just be Nin.
  • From millipede to millennium, the prefix mill- means thousand. Yet, we use it to denote a number 1,000 times greater than 1,000. From now on, we will be calling this number: 1,000 “one million.” Please adjust your math homework and test answers accordingly.

Look how important spaces are!

  • My pen is love/My penis love
  • Butterflies everywhere/Butter flies everywhere
  • I have nobody/I have no body
  • Drag one at boy friend/Dragon eat boyfriend
  • Hero in danger/Heroin danger
  • Government in action/Government inaction

Times of the Sign:

  • I remember lying in bed one night and realizing that 9 times anything equals a number whose digits add up to 9. EG: 9 x 8 = 72; 7 + 2 = 9, and 9 x 102 = 918; 9 + 1 + 8 = 18 and then 1 + 8 = 9. A practical use for this fact is when calculating 9 times a single digit number. If, like me, you never fully memorized your times tables, then whenever you are confronted with 9 x 7 you react by saying, “Uhhhhhhhh…” stalling while you slowly count by nines. But, now I simply use the 9x trick: 9 times any single digit number starts with one less than the number you are multiplying by and ends with a digit that will add up to 9. So, when I have to calculate 9 x 7 for the 3 millionth time, I think, “One less than 7 is 6 so the answer has to be 6 and whatever adds up to 9; 6 +3 = 9, so the answer is 63.” So 9 is a magic number. But what tricks are there for other numbers in the multiplication business? Let’s go right to one of the less obvious ones:
  • 11 x a single digit number just makes you write that number twice, so 11 x 2 = 22. But what about 11 x a two-digit number? Let’s call the number AB. 11 x AB = A(A+B)B. So, 11 x 53 = 583 (because 5 + 3 = 8). You just take the number, spread it apart & insert the number you get when you add up the two digits. So, for 11 x 41, we get 451 (since 4 + 1 = 5).


Choice is important. I give you three. Click on your choice of daisy to transport to another fine Daisybrain destination:


Hippies and Punks

March 30, 2014

The punk subculture came about about 10 years after the hippy subculture and, by the 1980s, a lot of punks were actually the children of hippies. So, it makes sense that there would be animosity between the two, as punk rockers tried to make their own way, necessarily rebelling against the older generation. Of course, the two youth cultures shared a lot of values and behavior, and had music as their cohesive cores. By the time the US West Coast hardcore scene came into being, the politics of punk rock and hippies overlapped quite a bit.

There were always people who were more into the superficial trappings of punk or hippy culture and would require adherents to wear the groups’ uniforms. For hair, this meant short or spikey for punks, as long as possible for hippies. When I was at a PIL show in England, shouting my usual mock-insults at the band, the guy in front of me turned and said, “You don’t get it man – you have a beard!” This was the mid-eighties, and he was into his role of playing punk. Just today, I received a confused comment from somebody looking at my video of Rock For No Reason, a 3-day punk rock festival from 1987. The viewer said, “These guys are like hippies.” Well, of course s/he was right – they do a lot of the same things and believe the same things as hippies and, especially by the late 80s, a lot of punks were taking to the message of freedom inherent in the movement and wearing beards or sporting clothes that looked hippy.

The ironic tension between hippies and punks was behind a song I wrote called, “Punks and Hippies” for one of my early 80s bands (Visiting Food). It goes:

Punks and hippies

Hippies and punks

Punks and hippies

Druggies and drunks

Punks aren’t allowed to grow beards

Hippies must have long hair

I have to wear what they wear

I have to wear what they wear

…and on like that. I also drew this comic for my 1986-87 ‘zine, Rock For No Reason Bandzine:

Hippies and Punks


This flower leads to other thoughts on culture and perception:


Poems of Entrapment

March 25, 2014

Here’s a song. Imagine singing it to music written in 10/4. Better yet, just read it:

I Keep Bumping Into Myself




into myself




into myself in the dark


Gotta push me out of the way

Or I’ll never turn on the light

Never escape the night

Can’t get anything right

I keep bumping into myself

Into myself in the dark

Into myself in the dark

Nothing but death, nothing but death

No air to breath, no light to see

I did it to me

In the bottom of my mug

There lives a earthy slug

It’s world is nice and round

Everything’s easy its found

I think I am that slug

No reason to leave my mug

The walls are made of my flesh

My flesh is made of my thought

My thought is made of porcelain

My soul is is starting to rot.


In the morning

I start to dream

I start to fight and run

In the evening I go to sleep

but my dreams are done

I only think I’m depressed when I read my own poetry. Jeesh! Here’s something a bit more uplifting:


Future News

March 22, 2014


Man Sued For Illegally Avoiding Ads

Walmart joined Nike, Exxon Mobile, Viagra and the Natural Gas Lobbying Association in class action lawsuit against a Hartford man who illegally downloaded Adblock in an unauthorized attempt to block placements of advertisements in the his cerebral cortex. “It’s like taking money out of our clients’ pockets,” complained an unnamed lawyer for the plaintiffs. The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages, jail time, and a complete reprogramming of the defendant’s brain.

Read the rest of this entry »

Stew’s Last name is Pidd.

March 20, 2014

“What would he want, Woody?” asked Owen.

“He would want to call in Collin,” answered Woody.

“Would he, Woody? Would he, really, Woody? Would he?”

“When will you stop, Owen? Oh when, Owen?” pleaded Woody.

Read the rest of this entry »

Depressing Haiku About Aging!

March 18, 2014

Rebellious punk

No responsibilities

Somehow you grew old.

Read the rest of this entry »


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